The Little Things in Life

It's the little things in life that make being a parent so special. Tonight I took my daughter to Temple Square. We walked around and saw the Christmas lights. It was very fun just to do something simple for my youngest child. She never had the chance to see the Christmas lights at Temple Square old enough that she could remember it. I'm glad that she will be able to remember this Christmas season with me and be able to appreciate the simple things about Christmas such as the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Often times, we spend so much time focused on the things of this world, That we failed to see that which is most precious right in front of our faces. I hope this Christmas each of you will find the simple joys in Christmas and not be so caught up in giftgiving, commercialism and, keeping up with the Joneses that you feel that the Christmas spirit has left you. Merry Christmas to all and have a Happy New Year!

So You Think You Know Cacti?

Cactus is one of my hobbies because I guess I have a knack for pain. I mainly have cold hardy cacti and yucca. I have a few that are not. One of the most interesting things that I have seen is that a few plants that I have that are not to go below 32 degrees Fahrenheit, are actually doing better than I thought given the circumstances.

Beggars can't be choosers so they say. I disagree. I have them stored in a garage to keep them out of the north wind and we have had unusually warm weather lately.

So time will tell if my old office plants will really survive the cold months ahead, but so far so good.

Think For A Minute

I take the title of today's blog from "The Housemartins" Think for a Minute. The lyrics of the song really might have some reasoning for the subject matter, but then again may not.

I am working now at doing an about face in my professional life. I came to an area in Idaho thinking that the grass might be greener if I followed a path and goal I set out for myself. Is the grass always greener?

In 2008 we elected our current President. Is the grass greener? We had a landslide election of 2014. Will the grass be greener?  Politics is easier to predict than one's own flesh and blood.

You fathers and mothers out there how much do you really consider your own children or each other if married in your own expanded goals for yourself?

What is the real reason behind your doing what you do? Your actions and motivations? Think for a minute? Maybe take some real time and put an hour down or days. Put some real heart and soul into yourself. Be honest with yourself. Think deeply about where you are now. How you got there. Where are  you going? Why are you going there? How will you get there? Who will your decisions affect? If you're truly honest with yourself you may be surprised.

When I first came to Idaho I thought that my last child a big part of the reason that I came here. By rebuilding my reputation and work I might somehow make her life different.  In a few short months that all changed.

She did not want her dad's complex reasons for being so far away. She wanted her dad nearby. That was it. The rest all were my own creations and illusions of what I thought a different approach might be. Truly a child never spoke more honest and to the point words.

Now starting over again is really starting over again. Bottom up with family support and with faith. That is it.

Nothing is for certain except this one point. I will be where I should be, with my daughter.  I have heard others say "she is only five, of course she will say that."

More stupidity has never been uttered by an adult. We forget that our kids are listening, watching, learning, keeping mental notes on everything we do.  It is their innocence that will be our judge of parenting in many ways.

So if you think that you have the time to make excuses, you only deceive yourself. "Time Waits for No One" is a quote I think that also fits. You can hold on to your precious beliefs of pride, being right, and doing it your own way.

Meanwhile those few precious moments will be spent as a parent in quality and meaningful time that you will remember and they will also. You can wait to see if your "being right" pays off later. I will take the first of these two tests of parenthood.

See I have a child now long gone to the adult world and I don't know if I will ever see him again or have a meaningful relationship with him. I could have been there more, but I wasn't. I wasn't a bad parent. I just missed out. My other older children have confirmed this. I am blessed forgiveness is a real possibility in my third son's situation. The older two are great men in their own right, and they will go far.

As for my daughter that minute I took to think will change history. Hopefully and God willing it already has. As a final plea out there dads and moms think for a minute. Is your endgame going to bless your child's life or put a wedge between you and him/her in the course of time?

You don't know the outcome, but you can make an educated guess. Only you know where you stand in what needs to be done and your relationship with your child. Just don't leave that relationship to chance. Gambling with money is one thing. Gambling with your children is another. In the latter the stakes are higher and if you lose, the debt harder to repay if it can be repaid.

Think for a minute. Stop for a minute- The Housemartins

Football: Should It Take A Hike and My Response

I was asked by "Out of Step Radio" to offer my opinion on whether Football is too dangerous and we should do away with the violent sport. Here is my response as provided to the blog radio program:

"I don't think banning football is the answer. We as a civilization like violent sports football, hockey, rugby, boxing, martial arts, NASCAR, etc.  All of these sports have collision, broken bones, long term effects, death. Doing away with one means doing away with all.

I do believe that our young people need better education in their own anatomy and the results of diverse injuries that go along with them.

Banning them is not the answer and you can only go so far in addressing serous hits with rules.

Young men need to know what they're signing up for. They need to be told "this game could maim or even kill you.

Then they get to decide the pros vs cons. I'm a football fan. I love my team. I don't think banning football or other high contact and impact sports is the answer.

Parents, coaches, recruiters, and important figures all have that responsibility of educating our young men and women too about the danger that goes with a risk for glory.

Is it worth it? Yes! Is it our duty to let them know the odds of success? Yes! Then let them play after age 18 or before with parental consent. Every time a player goes down I don't care who he is playing for. I just hope he's okay.

Now play ball."

Starting Over In Three Months

I took a job out of state and now I am coming back home to where I started. Wound licking is and obvious side effect.  Now the big test is how am I going to take this next part, the reboot.

Well, first there is good old fashioned self analysis. How, where, who, what, where, and why? How did I get here.  Second is getting on the run and making sure that I am doing what I can to make sure that I get out of the box running.

Everyday is a new day and so it is. But the difference is the the sun rising and sitting around vs actually making something happen.

I don't recall such bad challenges happening to me in the past. Now it is working for a goal of being employed again.

Rather than hit my loved ones with a sad sack story, it is time to move forward and hopefully top out on the end.

But I do wonder why sometimes? Does it really matter? I have some sort of greater faith that things are hopefully work out.

Until I blog again.

Great Places To Get Passed on Interstate 84

Ever since I relocated to Twin Falls, Idaho I have been back to the Wasatch Front in Utah, which is still sort of my "home base." Practically everyone I know is there. Most important, my family is there as well.

But there are miles of road between Twin Falls, Idaho and Salt Lake City, Utah. Along Interstate 84. Here are some great places to avoid unless you torture yourself with bordome.  Then be my guest and to each their own.


If Governor "Butch" Otter, yes his real name, wants to brag about "Idahome Road," I would suggest a new thing to brag about in branding your state. In the far southcentral Idaho, someone loved dust and isolation. The only problem is they could have used greater imagination than this name.  So if you get off the highway to visit here, maybe a visit to a psychiatrist is also in order.

 

 

There is not a Sweetzer place along the 80 MPH zone than Sweetzer Road. Near Sweetzer Pass, Idaho this exit should only be used to find a bush to relieve "nature's call."

 

 

 

Juniper Road, Idaho is just road with a freeway interchange. Celebrating one of the Great Basin's larger shrubs or tree the pinyon juniper managed to get a road named after it. Maybe that is because there are more choices to find a bush of your liking, or Idaho is ashamed they don't have more of these lovely trees.

Crossing over the state line into Utah, the Hansel Valley gets an exit. Is this where the famed "Hansel and Gretel" tale took place? Was a man by the name of Hansel passing through? Maybe its named after one of thousands of Germans? Who knows? Again see if you can find a toilet or the boredom may kill you.

The name "Rattesnake Pass"makes sense here because one can see rattlesnakes living here. But the other exits featured here also most likely have the venomous reptiles here as well. Maybe you should not stop here including for nature calls because nobody wants to get bit while taking a pee by a rattler. Utah does have some great gifts to the 8 million worst places of the world to have to go through.

Not to be confused with Pocatello, Idaho is Pocatello Valley, Utah. There are no services here except ones you can create. Pocatello, Idaho should sue the namers of this Utah valley for worst name and copyright infringement. You will be glad when you are through this maze of  well bleh.

Happy travels.

Judges No Longer Abritraters of the Law, But Rulers of Us All

The United States Supreme Court again demonstrated why an overhaul is needed of the highest court in the land, and all other federal and state courts.

The courts do not listen to the people anymore, they rule them.  A judge is a nobleman and a justice is a duke, lord, or a black knight in somewhat rusted armor.

The time has come with the refusal of the United States Supreme Court to interpret the Constitution  of the United States, to overhaul that organ of government.

Most all the several states had laws and state constitutional protections against being compelled to accept same sex "marriages." These laws were voted in by the majority of the people, to protect the sanctity of marriage and its extension, the family.

But judges now seek to invalidate not just fair and just laws of the land, but have the gall to lecture us and tell us we are not tolerant of those who shop for the right judges and justices to hear cases and make arbitrary and capricious rulings with no basis in US legal, traditional, state, or community standards.

They hold on to their lifetime jobs and bark "royal" decrees at the uneducated "masses."  The country is a mess. We have an imperial President who invokes decrees bypassing the Congress. The Congress is impotent, but it own choice to let the Executive and Judicial branches run amok with no consequences to these oligarchists for their actions.

The people on the other hand are hitting the tipping point and things will soon become not urgent, but an emergency to throw every bum in all three branches out, maybe at the same time. I hope it does not come to this. You cannot legislate the heart, mind, might and soul of a nation.

We who hold on to traditional values that are time tested and have worked for thousands of years are just supposed to yield the floor to the various left wing and amoral police lobbies. If not we will be put in "our place."

We who are holding on to principles of majority rule "tempered" not steamrolled by majority rights will be vilified whether in the majority or not.

Its time for our "diaper wearing" Supreme Court to answer to the people and to God. I propose the following.

1. Every supreme court judge appointed will serve 10 years and then must step down regardless of his or her age.

2. All federal judges will serve 5 year terms and will be subject to reappointment through a retention election in their jurisdiction after one term. If the circuit court and district court judges cannot retain a confidence vote of the electorate they will step down after their term is ended and cannot be reappointed and confirmed in that jurisdiction. The President and the Senate will then appoint and confirm new judges to fill vacancies. All federal judge vacancies that need immediate filling will be filled by the Governor and Legislature of the federal district of the state or Council of Governors for circuit court justices in which the vacancy or vacancies arise until the President and Senate can nominate and confirm replacements.
No federal judge shall serve more than three terms or 15 years. A federal judge cannot be re nominated for the same bench in which he or she held office after retiring or removal. They can be nominated for another jurisdiction or higher bench upon nomination of the President and consent of the Senate.

3. All federal judges at the district level will account annually to the governor and legislature of the state in which they reside to give an accounting of their rulings and justifications. If they be circuit court judges then each justice will account the same annually to the governors and legislatures of the states in their appellate jurisdictions.

4. All Supreme Court Justices, including the Chief Justice, will account to the President of the United States and both houses of Congress annually to justify their opinions, rulings, and actions. Upon hearing of the accountings the President will recommend to Congress a resolution of confidence in that justice's service and the Senate and House of Representatives may concur, be silent, or take lawful action up and to impeachment.

5. A Supreme Court Justice may be given a recommendation of no confidence by the President of the United States and the Congress then will consider lawful sanctions of that justice for failure to be a steward of his or her office and may extend to impeachement by the House of Representatives and Conviction and removal from office by the Senate according to the laws and Constitution of the United States.

The following changes will make the judges more politically accountable to the people, the several states, and to the Executive and Legislative bodies of the nation.

Corruption will be able to be dealt with as quickly as time allows and the people can redress the judges and justices of the lower federal courts through retention election.

Our Founding Fathers sought out wise men to carry on the task of defending the laws and the Constitution and the protection of all people, not just minorities who have redress issues nor arbitrarily throw out laws of the people with which they disagree.

The states should consider a similar model for the appointment and retention of judges. But state courts are the jursidiction of the states in which they are created and are free and independent organs of the federal system except as defined by the laws of appellate jurisprudence defined in the Constitution.

If we do not do something to hold the judges and yes all political officers of our federal and state governments accountable they will eventually become the nightmare so many hundred years ago feared by the Founders of the United States.

For the territories of the United States Congress shall make all necessary redress of federal judges in those areas until statehood or the affected territories independence from the United States is achieved. Territories are the jurisdiction of Congress and the national legislature owes it to these people in our territories that are not states to remedy their causes for judicial accountability and stewardship.

Failure to act will further insulate the judges at all levels of government to become oppressors rather than champions of the people and the laws that govern our nation.

The Future of the United Kingdom is Federalism

Recently Scotland rocked the political world, especially in Europe, by holding a formal vote to leave the United Kingdom.

The United Kingdom also known as Great Britain is composed of four major political subdivisions. These are England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland.

Over the past decades Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland each have gained what are called devolved governments from the main national government in London, England.

Powers though not completely equal in each area devolved to the areas except England include, transportation, taxation, local services: sanitation, police, public works, and education.

In truly federalized nations such as the United States, Canada, Australia, Brazil, Germany, Switzerland, and the United Arab Emirates  have federalized systems.

The areas of these respective nations make up a national government. Each area is a main political subdivision that is equal more or less to the federal government in each nation. The federal government is reserved powers to govern the nation state composed of states, provinces, cantons, or emirates . The rest of the powers not given to the national federal government are the areas of the major political divisions of that nation.

Generally federal governments are assigned national law making, raising armies, navies, air forces, printing and/or coining the national currency, interstate or interprovincial commerce, and federal prison systems.

States as we will call them, though known by different names around the world in their respective lands are assigned overseeing the day to day local functions. The either directly supervise or devolve to cities and towns within them police powers, sanitation, fire protection and prevention, local judicial matters that involve petty and lesser crimes, education, incarceration at the sub national level for crimes against the various states, environment, etc.

Some powers both the federal and state entities share concurrently. These are incarceration for crimes, police powers, taxation, maintaining militias (part of a greater national force such as an army or navy when called upon) but otherwise subject to the heads of government to carry out defense and other emergency powers when the emergency is localized, regulation of commerce on the intrastate and interstate levels, judicial systems, and overseeing the political activity in each jurisdiction at the federal or state level.

Great Britain has been a unitary state for many hundreds of years with the King or Queen as Sovereign, the national legislature and government or parliament with the House of Commons having the most power and the House of Lords the upper house having diminished greatly over the years in its role as national government. In a unitary state the national government delegates or devolves powers it sees fit to the local levels of governance and reserves greater powers for itself both national and local powers not devolved.

At anytime a superior government can reserve back to itself the devolved powers with a stroke of a legal pen with or without justification.

In the federal systems the Constitutions limit the soverign where one reigns such as Canada and Australia. In the United States the federal government cannot dissolve state governments under any conditions. The US Constitution gives both the national and state governments reserved, concurrent, and/or implied powers that cannot be taken away except as the national constitution directs. The states can also check the federal government through their national congressional delegations or parliamentary deligations, laws or appeals to the federal government. In some cases states have refused to enforce federal laws as there is no constitutional mechanism to compel states and their political subdivisions to act on federal legislation.

An example of this in the United States is with drug laws, particularly marijuana. Federally the cannabis plant is illegal to grow, manufacture into product and sell in all 50 states. However, California, Colorado, Alaska, and Washington State all defy this law by only enforcing their own laws and leaving the federal law enforcement to do its work solo unless there is a compelling interest to join forces.  Usually both jurisdictions work together where required and even not required. Similarly the federal government of the United States has arbitrarily chosen to enforce immigration law, which is national and not subnational leaving states to try to enforce federal law and the federal government deciding if it will or will not cooperate with the states.

In a unitary state all of this is decided at the national level, avoiding a check and balance system that exist to a greater or lesser style in federalized units.

Now the UK has develoved or delegated out the more localized powers to the governments nearest the people, it will be hard to take this back into London even though in English law the Westminster Government is completedly able to do so without reservation  or accountability to the regional and local governments.

The UK is on a collision course with permenant federalism de facto or formally given up by London to the other regional units. This would leave the UK government almost soley with national issues and the regions of the UK with the day to day affairs of delegating out their respective local responsibilities. Even laws passed would be independent of London, except as agreed federally.

What should happen is during the current time devlolution in the UK should be maintained and the last devolvement of local government going to England.  Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland all have Capital cities, Edinburgh, Cardiff, and Belfast respectively.

England should move the regional government out of London to decentralize the national government to a Capital the English people would designate. Candidates for the English Capital  would be Manchester, Liverpool, Birmingham, Dover or another designated city. Once devolution is complete and all governments are functional at the regional level London would call a national constitutional convention. Representatives would come from England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland and hammer out a written constitution making each regional government sovereign from the national and each regional government would have the same responsibilities within its sphere and London could not take back, except in national emergency, any localized function or regionalized function.

London would take care of the national business and the four regions would send representatives to comprise the national government and run the country from London.  London would work with Cardiff, Belfast, Ediburgh and the English capital to resolve problems. The queen would be represented by a governal general as in other former English colonies now independent of the British Crown at the regional levels as a delegate to exercise her powers as defined by federal agreement.

This would strenghthen the United Kingdom and ensure that they remained a major player on the global stage. The United States was the first to reject the unitary state and devolution government back in 1775 which resulted in the American Revolution. Other now independent nation states that have maintained a tie with the British Crown almost always "interact" with the queen via the governor general, who is like the Monarch left to ceremonial purposes except as defined by law.

The British though proud of tradition need to realize that all of their former colonies now independent especially the US, Canada, and Australia, have become more powerful due to each one's federal model. Canada's is actually more European in style while Australia is a hybrid of the US and European systems.

The Act of Union in 1707 unified the British people under one government. Now it is time for the National government to act as a purely national government by the people and for the people of the British Isles.

This will save the UK in my opinion. All that would need to happen are the Welch to get mad and hold a plebocite on separation from the UK. Scotland would almost equally follow. Northern Ireland would leave and only England would remain, unless it to desoloved a British government and the once great empire will have completely fallen without hope of a second wind resurrection.

The Snake River Plain...Desert?

Today I decided to take my lunch break away from both home and work. Those of you who check in probably have figured I am pretty open about some things. I left myself scratching my head is this too much or about right to disclose.

Well there are places that God leaves for us to get away from the mundane, boring, hectic and insane world we live in.

I have lived in desert land all my life. The American Southwest is most famous for the dust devils, sage brush,   yucca, cacti and other flora and fauna of all kinds. Did you ever stop and see the greater desert of North America?

It extends beyond the traditional five. The Great Basin, The Mojave, The Colorado Plateau, The Sonora, and The Chihuahua.

Shoshone Falls Park, Idaho

One of the most interesting deserts of the Northwest North American Continent is the Snake River Plain Idaho.

This large lava field covered in thin topsoil, sagebrush, grassland, pinion juniper at higher elevations is an anomaly that isn't often looked at as a desert.

Located in southern Idaho and stretching from Hell's Canyon on the west to the Yellowstone plateau on the east is largely thought of as farm land or barren. But it has all the major characteristics of a continental desert.

It is in a large rain shadow of the Cascades and northern Sierra Nevada to the west. There are smaller ranges within the Snake River Plain but they more rim the plain than cross it.  The Rocky Mountains lie to the north, northeast and east.

Near Shoshone Falls Park, Idaho on the Snake River.

Millions to just 2,000 years ago this area was highly active with lava flows and earthquakes. The Yellowstone Caldera  is closely associated with the Snake River Plain formation.

The "Nile" of the Pacific Northwest the Snake River flows from the highlands of Wyoming, across southern Idaho to form the western Idaho and eastern Oregon state line.

If there were no Snake River, there would be far less agriculture in the area because of the thin top soil and basaltic lava bed on which much of south Idaho rests.

Snake River, Idaho

The area is extremely dry with precipitation similar to the Great Basin. Ringed by mountains on all sides gives the area a dry atmosphere. The Snake River provides the silt for topsoil and the water necessary to grow crops in the Snake River Plain.

The Snake River provides not only agricultural water, and culinary water. A series of dams provide flood control, hydroelectric power, and recreational use making the area much more habitable than it otherwise would be.

Hells Canyon at the end of the Snake River Plain is the deepest gorge in the United States, deeper than the Grand Canyon and the central feature of Hells Canyon National Recreation Area.

In this desert area the porous lava beds absorb water into aquifers and  eventually the water finds it's way to places like Snake River Canyon where there is no more room and the water seeps out in many waterfalls along the canyon walls.

Snake River Canyon, Idaho

Underside of Perrine Bridge, Twin Falls, Idaho

The Snake River Canyon on the left was the site of one of the famous jumps by late legend Eval Keneval. The jump was attempted, but was botched and Keneval never attempted the jump again. The ramp is still visible today built up for the .5 to 1 mile jump the daredevil was trying to attempt.  But there are other adrenaline junkies as well. The Snake River Canyon has two famous bridges. The more famous, the Perrine Bridge has thousands of BASE jumpers that come to take the 500 foot jump and hope their parachute deploys. 

Snake River Canyon, Idaho

Above is the superstructure of the Perrine Bridge. It is a steel arch structure bridge built in 1976 to replace an older model torn down.  The traffic deck is on the top of the structure. Heavily used the arch structure distributes the weight of the bridge, and traffic into the canyon walls from the center of the structure out from the middle of the arch, creating a similar effect of both ancient and modern arch bridges.

BASE jumpers usually take the east side of the bridge and plunge off the bridge. From there due to the limits of height they have 3 seconds from flight to deployment of the parachute. There is little room for error.  Botched jumps have resulted in fatalities that are a known and accepted risk among the jumping community. The Perrine Bridge is the only structure in the United States with unlimited jumping 365 days per year with no permit. Many jumpers miss the landing zones established and have to quickly ditch in the river. But the river has saved many jumpers from near certain death or short of that life changing injuries.  Sadly the other type of jumper of the suicide nature often take this bridge as a way out with no purpose to make a return trip. BASE jumpers take suicidal jumpers and help in spotting the suicide jumpers and getting them help.

On the border of the Snake River Plain, basaltic hills or low mountains rim the Snake River Plain. This transition zone on the north and east leads to the Rocky Mountains and to the Great Basin Ranges in on the south.  The City of Rocks National Preserve is near the Utah State line and famous among rock climbers.

Craters of the Moon National Monument, Idaho

On the north of the Snake River Plain is Craters of the Moon National Monument. This area has recent geologic history of lava flows just 2,000 years old. Some scientists who study the area say it is just a matter of time until the lava comes to the surface again. Only Hawaii has younger lava flows in the United States and Craters of the Moon has the next oldest in the 48 Contiguous States.

As mentioned above sagebrush, rabbit brush, grasses and other scrub take hold on the barren rock leaving much of the lava fields exposed. Even older fields across the plain punch through the surface due to shallow top soils and some believe the Lake Bonneville Flood of about 10,000 to 15,000 years ago.

When Lake Bonneville burst through a natural dam site on the present day Utah-Idaho state line the flood scoured in days what we see today as the Snake River Canyon and Hells Canyon, eventually finding its way up the Snake River flow way into the Columbia River and out to see. Some speculate that is why the older lava canyon such as the Snake River Canyon with much older and stronger rock looks like it was "blasted" just yesterday.

Head to any barren area or outlying area of the Plain and you will find the prickly pear cacti and some small barrel cacti as well. Cacti are native to every US state except Hawaii. Most are concentrated in the West and Southwest of the United States and southern Canada. Cacti do not need much soil to get a foothold and some need just a good rock base.

So the desert is all around south Idaho, far eastern Oregon and southern Washington State. One could draw a line at the western slopes of the Rocky Mountains and all around the Snake River Plain forming a ring along the Great Basin and Palouse in northern Idaho and Eastern Washington and get a rough estimate of the size of the Snake River Plain which with little but even rainfall, hot summers, cool dry winters, a true desert with a most unusual distinction. It is not basin and range like most desert areas. It is a volcanic desert with hundreds of old volcanic spatter and cinder cones and lava breaches in the Earth's crust.

Next time you get a potato from Idaho you can thank the Snake River and the unique desert that surrounds it, the Snake River Plain

What just happened? My Boss Jumped the Shark?

Tonight I don't feel so wise.  I came home feeling down and somewhat insulted.  These are feelings that I do have some control over.

Earlier today about 4:30 PM my boss poked her head in my office door. With some that is a good experience. With this current boss, not so much.

She gave me that clarion call to her office kind of like an Elk bugle and a zombie stampede.  In there was our  on site HR guy. Of the two of them I would much rather see him.

The conversation covered much mundane stuff which really I don't feel is important to the story, other to say it was demeaning.  The topic of course was "you suck" and the criticisms kept coming and coming and coming.  I defended what little alibi I had. There is not really an alibi against accusations that most people will never hear of in their lives.

Password entries was one goal to be measured. Another one was asking for help when I didn't know the answer.

No antecedents were offered to the accusations. Just criticisms. At the end I asked "there must have been something I have done right." The HR guy said "Your getting here on time has improved."

Yeah, oh boy!  I went back to my office and shut the door.

I sat and pondered the silly to somewhat justifiable goal list to avoid getting fired.

Then I began to write an email. First to my colleagues asking them for their honest input of my work. All bcc because of confidentiality stuff.

Then I finally wrote to my boss and cc the HR guy.  I offered up my own rebuttal. It was professional, but to the point on several issues.  The two of us will most likely collide over the content. But I am glad I wrote it.

Sometimes writing your boss in an email after silly talks to serious ones is very important. Communication is key to job survival. As I pointed out to a friend I vented to if you don't let your feelings be known and establish proper boundaries, you are bound to get hurt.

Bosses have to be kept in check as much as coworkers.  When they cross the mark, they have to be respectfully and forwardly put back on their side of the line.  Failure to communicate will lead to at the very least more problems and at the most going postal. Most of us will fall way between these extremes.

I spend 2 hours carefully selecting the written words. Taking out as much emotion as I could to keep the tone business like.  But nonetheless keeping it to myself was going to eat at me.

So I employed one of Dr. Abraham Low's methods. I expressed myself in a "cultured" manner.

Now I wait and see the results.  Yes it is always a risk telling your authority figure to back down and offer criticism that is deserved back to them. But so is doing something stupid by stuffing it in.

Tomorrow the results of the email will be read. What happens next I hope does not happen.

Now a few tips I have learned from this exercise in what seems futility.

First, Establish firmly what boundaries are expected and why they were crossed. Second, make sure that counter criticism is not demeaning or insulting. Make sure it does not whitewash the truth either. State the facts as you see them. No more and no less.

Third if human resources is ever involved then cc them so that it does not turn into boss vs employee. Chances are you'll lose if you're not the boss.

Fourth make sure you document the areas the boss has let you know are subpar and reasonable. If your boss can follow the "paper trail" then show him/her that you can create one in your own defense.

Fifth is that nobody should be bullied. Bosses like other bullies feed off of your fear and uncertainty of how to deal with them. Bosses that engage in power bossing, being overcritical of your work, vague about antecedents that precipitate their actions on you, or they must be "right" even if they are dead wrong.

Sixth for each incident of interaction with your boss, leave a note somewhere of the date, time, and nature of the discussion.

Seventh is if your boss sees weakness, they will most likely try to turn it against you. But if you are strong, they will modify their approach and/or back down.

Eighth is that employment is a two way street. Your boss needs to be reminded that you can go elsewhere and not return. That power they wield is not too good outside their sphere of influence. Don't be flippant or exaggerate. Just let them know that you have begun to consider all your options concerning the employment  relationship.

A person really needs to be wise when picking and choosing battles. The workplace is no exception. This is especially true of management.  Your boss can set you up with broad and very loose goals that you might not be able to obtain. If you take on your boss keep respect and objective wording to them. Emotions unchecked can be hard to recover from bad karma in a job situation.

Ninth, Don't stay where abusive relationships exist. Bide your time and bolt. Never be direct about quitting unless you are that sure that you can incur possible maladaptive behaviors. Keep your cards close to you and continue working in your present employment up to the last day.

Tenth is that you remember forgiveness is for healing you or the "inner vessel" before cleaning the "outward vessel" may save you eating crow. It sucks to tell someone you forgave them only if in the part.

Everybody will face the school yard, peer member, bad comment by an uncle you see twice on Facebook in six months. Will you give or takeaway their power? That is the final answer for now.

Six and The Fish

Tonight I was having some fun on Facebook. I decided to go back and rejoin when I ran into Six and The Fish. Six and the Fish don't join in conversations. They hijack them.

What started out as a couple of jabs back and forth ended up as a brawl. We were talking about "blocking" on Facebook, which is wiping them off your map. There may be some that don't know what it means.

As I traded insults with Six, the more dominant of the two women soon The Fish because she comes across like well a fish, joined in. Now The Fish in my humble opinion is lacking in some social skills.

I admit that I first insulted The Fish. But again I am not big on passive aggressive types.  I digress.

The insults were hurled back and forth and getting more heated. Finally I realized I could use the block feature on Facebook against them. We'd been trading insults with it. So in no time at all Six was history on my account. The Fish was more illusive, but I nixed her too.

My coming back to that Facebook group is less exciting, but so is the exchange of insults. Starting sometimes is less important that finishing the fight. Well good riddance to both of those women and I hope the feeling is mutual.

No one deserves put down and sick crap directed at them. Someone asked who I even was. I explained that  it didn't matter and in a nice way none of her business.

Sometimes we have to take the high road, even after realizing that we chose the low road first.  Six and The Fish will still be there, but like a child covering his eyes, I won't see them.

The Lessons of Dating on Facebook

I had a good Internet friendship going for six months. General interest was the main thing going on. Mutual interest beyond friendship happened and we texted back and forth for hours. Great fun.

Words mean everything and I will explain this shortly. As we talked we talked about very personal and not so personal stuff.

As we exchanged she called at 6:00 AM as there is two hour time difference between us both. That AM was my local time.

It was a good chat or so I can remember.  Later things went south. A few words led to a mid afternoon of  misunderstanding and finally the lady deciding to saying goodbye.

I was left scratching my head. What went wrong. Then my mind clicked on a possible scenario. I had dated a couple of other friends connected to the same Facebook site.

I had not assumed on obvious point. We all had shared mutual friends. I had dated two of them. Others may have had access to my account as a "friend" that I might have added without scrutiny of my knowledge base of them.

The damage is not going to kill anyone, but harm did come.

Here is what I learned on dating someone from Facebook:

1. First, introductions are everything. Say hello and chat a while. No matter how tempting it gets don't give out too much information early on. Don't friend them if you haven't already. Keep some privacy until you get to know their intentions.

2. Keep "Friends In Common" to a minimum. Your friendship or relationship is an open door to discussion about you by your Facebook interest and shared friends. Some of these shared friends can put on the good good face on the computer, and turn on you when talking to someone else.

3. Only when you have texted AND talked on the phone with your person of interest you should "friend" them. First we live in a TEXT HAPPY SOCIETY and texts are very convenient communications tools. But you should not just get to know someone via text.
Set your boundaries. First, be safe and chat on FB with your POI. Second get a phone number and move to step two. Text them first and get to know them, but only for a short time. Third, insist on talking to your POI before carrying out anymore texting. If  "they are not ready" or "want to get to know you better" then that should be a red flag of stalling. I am not implying that they are not genuine, but if they will not put a voice to their face drop that baby by fading into the woodwork or by other more aggressive FB means if necessary.

4. If you and your former POI and or dating partner break it off, to avoid real damage consider blocking them. Do this quietly and without announcing it to everyone. Keep other means of communication open, not your FB account. Don't let your FB former person of interest or dating partner be able to keep up on you. Unfriending someone is okay, but not foolproof in protecting against cyberstalking your account to a degree. Block them first, don't just unfriend them.

5. If your friends in common still have a good relationship you may want to tell them that you and Mr. or Ms. X have ceased chatting, texting, dating, marriage, etc.  By letting your closest friends and family know without airing dirty laundry can prevent them being manipulated by an ex.

6. If your person of interest blocks you out of whatever reason, this can be good. It allows you to work on your situation and they cannot see what you are doing on Facebook.  If they unblock you then keep your attention on them. You won't know it until they contact you or you find out a third party way. Keep in mind you can block them, and they cannot undo that. Do what you need to do to protect yourself.

7. Unfriending in the FB community is considered by some to be a one finger salute. A block is a death penalty to your relationship. Think things through before you are put in a decision where you have to do so urgently. If you do use the unfriend or the block tools, remember that situation may just need time. People that have blocked me or unfriended me are now my friends again on Facebook. The dispute is settled.

You cannot go back to the way things were, but you can change yourself now.

8. If you are separating or divorced, block your spouse. It keeps you out of each other's lives and the temptation to cyberstalk the former husband or wife on social media. If you reconcile to the point where you can be friends on Facebook then great. But ex husbands and wives need boundaries also. Sometimes blocking someone out is not out of vindictiveness. It is out of caring enough about them and you to move on.

The Morals and Values of Company X

Company X was a major player in the health care industry. Company X had many clients, handled many accounts, and made a very good profit margin.

Company X had a slogan that reflected doing the moral and ethical thing.

Like all good corporations Company X believed in profits, growth, client and customer satisfaction, and providing jobs to very qualified individuals.

Company X had a Board of Directors, A CEO, Vice Presidents, upper, middle, lower management, and the common line employees in their various functions.

The company bus was rolling along the American Economic Highway. It had been smooth sailing from the start, very few bumps in the road, relatively smooth terrain, and very few problems to worry about.

Then one of the drivers decided he didn't like the way his bus in the convoy was running. So he opened the floorboard and threw an employee under the bus. Kathump went the wheels of the bus over the unnamed person. It was nobody significant, and the driver of the bus said that it was necessary to throw one employee under the bus for the good of the whole.

The driver then decided to rearrange the order of the passengers of the bus. He took employees from the back and put them in the middle, middle employees to the front, front to back and so forth. He created several new areas within the bus to to help the functions of the bus run smoother.

With so many new arrangements the driver again had the floor boards opened up and threw another three bodies under the bus. Nobody really notice or much cared. It wasn't them and they were thankful for that. The bus driver pulled into a large vehicle wash to get the blood and debris off the company bus. The bus had a brand and could not be seen driving around with the blood and guts of those thrown under. It wasn't good for morale anyway.

Once the bus was underway and one more person got thrown under, the bus driver looked among his bus staff and found several people he would make micro managers. To oversee the micro managers would be managers, an associate director then the driver at the top. There was always a need to be ready to throw someone under the bus so the bus driver made the human resources job to throw unwanted or unneeded people under the bus.

When someone would ask the driver to give them a raise he said "no" or made an excuse. He would make silly rules to save a dime. Some of his very first passengers had been loyal to him from day one, but the only way they could get a raise is to install glass ceilings in the bus and take on a lot of responsibility. So the loyal minions that were most likable were promoted to micro manager.

There was one micro manager who had great thoughts and ideas and they helped the Company X bottom line. So they borrowed his ideas and utilized them. He was a good micro manager, but hated doing too much micromanaging. The driver did not like this neo micromanaging style and so he called a meeting of the management minions.  He told them he had gone to a bus line owner convention, come up with new ways of doing things. The micro manager he cared about least was thrown under the bus. But he was asked to hang on for dear life, because they may need to yell under the bus to get more ideas.

Now he was just another passenger, but now under the bus, and was asked to be loyal for the good of the Company X brand. 

Not being stupid he let go, let the wheels roll over him and found himself alongside the road. Fearing they might loose intellectual property or the man's brain, nobody knows for sure, they U turned only to find the spot where he let go there was no corporate road kill. Just a skid mark and a note that said "I dodged the wheels and I am not telling you how I did it."

The driver tried in vain as more minions got passed the micro managers  went out the windows, the emergency exit, or the front side door to jump to other buses and trucks on the American Economic Highway. Even the bus Attorney tried to sue some to no success for violation of a no compete clause, but all in vain.

Finally in time a call came in from corporate dispatch at Company X. The driver was hauled out of his seat, put under the floorboard, and crunched under the bus.  Seems the ethics monster had caught up with Driver Robespierre.  In the end he was expendable too.

The bus is still rolling and making money, but has lost much intellectual talent due to its policies of treating employees.  Because only the employees could make the company money and Company X had thrown out all  those expendable minions.

So is the ethics and values of Company X. No longer a major player, but a minor one, because they did not observe one simple principle. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Gratitude

It is often in "our own desert" that we "meet" God. 

With all of the things going on in March I have come to realize one thing is easy to overlook, gratitude.  We live in a society where everything is "on demand."  We have come to believe that you can get something for little or no effort.  We have become an entitlement based mentality.  Did anyone ever stop and think what this brings about?

One of those things I have noticed is lack of gratitude. Gratitude for what?  For starters just being alive.  There is health, family, a place to call home, food and appreciation for good hard work.  Who to be grateful to? There are our employers for providing us with a job from which we can get an income.  There are our parents who gave us life and sacrificed much so we could be who we are and believed in us and what we can become.

There are those who lifted us up on a down day. There are those that bore our trials with us even though they had no reason to do so.  There are friends who put loyalty before differences.  There are those who don't turn away when it would be easy to do so.

There are the good times when very little adversarial trials are in our way.  There are the things that we learn in easy and hard times.  There is humility when it is easy to become prideful.  There is the spiritual when darkness is all around us.  There is being accepted for who we are and not what we aren't.

Above all there is a Supreme Being to whom all the glory of this gratitude goes. He is the architect of our lives, the giver of all things from the most simple to the very rich. He says yes to more prayers than He says no too.

Where have we gone as a society when the only thankfulness we can muster up is the obligatory type at a restaurant to the server?  Being grateful is second only to being charitable in defining a person. If we were only just a small bit more grateful to our fellow man and our God just think of the miracles that would follow?

What are we truly missing out on here?  We are missing out on the ability to be free or be in bondage. To appreciate rather than demand. To love rather than demand love. To be respected because of being the better person.  There is much more than just these things, but I truly believe our level of self actualization is tied to how grateful we really are.

We all must make our own way, yet no one can get to the goal without some assistance seen or unseen. It is not the great things, but the little things that  we must be thankful for before we can appreciate the big changes in life.

We watch the media and they say that we should all do it for ourselves and others should benefit us. We should do for ourselves the right thing so we can be of assistance to our fellow beings, not the other way around.

I get on social media sites and the stench of "look at me" is everywhere.  How about we look at us and then honestly assess our situation. If we want different outcomes we have to change the way we make things happen. We can't beat the same dead horse expecting a live one to take it's place.  We have to bury the dead horse and assess. What are we doing right? If we are doing the right thing keep it. What are we doing wrong? If we are doing wrong change it. What is we don't know where to go? Ask directions.

It is easy to say this stuff but much harder to do in practice.  A wise man once said the world would take the poor out of the "slums" and put them in better conditions. He then said that God "takes the slums out of the people and then the people take themselves out of the slums."

Thankfulness is taking the slums out of the people, out of ourselves. Then if we are in literal or symbolic slums we remove ourselves to better housing, communities, attitudes, jobs, friends, etc.  That gratitude is what I hope more members of society will see and practice. A simple "thanks" goes a long way when you mean it. Just imagine thank yous and humility combined? What a better world we make for ourselves.

If we want to be the center of attention, quit trying to make everyone see how much you have, your social status, your job, income, and physical attractiveness.  People are more attracted to character than to substance. If you desire attention get it the right way, not the "look at me" way.

Gratitude is the key to happiness and more blessings in our lives. I hope our society can have gratitude vs entitlement. The entitled person is never happy because they always want something and never stop demanding.  The grateful person opens up and is thankful for what they have and then have more room to receive, because they are more willing to give to others. It is the service that is tied universally to gratitude.

There is never something for nothing. Someone is writing a check. We should be grateful for what we have and we will get more in proportion to gratitude.

Spring Means Taking Care of the Cactus

With Spring just a couple of weeks away it is time to get out and do those green thumb projects. One of mine of course is Cacti. Winter killed many beautiful cacti with rot, still others remain that survived the cold wet winter.

First thing is to prep the soil from last year. Mix in new with the old and also top soil to bottom. The cacti seem to like nutrients that land on the soil as well as the bottom.

Make sure that the soil is well drained. Water retaining soil = rot. Also make sure any containers can drain excess water.  Cold hardy cacti will be starting to "wake up."  So don't forget to cut off rot and keep your cacti healthy. If your cactus is rotten, chuck it. Rot from borderline cold hardy can spread rot to otherwise healthy plants.

Let soil completely dry out before watering again. Also minimum for this time of year should be once to twice every two weeks.  Cacti in low light areas will need artificial light for indoors or access to a good light source by a window.

Also cacti are great for preventing break ins from burglars. If they want your stuff let them get stuck for it. I have always used a dog and cacti in tandem. So far, so good.  Yucca also require the same care as succulents, though not as hardy as cacti.  So much for Spring maintaining. Nutrients for indoor and outdoor include plant food, organicide for fungus, and of course beer and dog food my favorites.

So keep on having fun with painful planting. But in the end it is worth it for those spring and summer blooms.

Godfather Putin

There is much ado going on since Russia has invaded the Ukraine Crimean region amid the woes of the former Soviet Socialist Republic. The Ukraine has a long historical relationship with Russia and it is not surprising that the big brother of all the Slavs is invading little brother's territory.

In 1991 the Soviet Union ceased to exist and all Soviet Socialist Republics became free independent states. Moscow never gave up its ambitions for a sphere of influence. Changing over from a Communist to a Democratic form of government was not going to be easy and there were no guarantees that the newly freed independent states would make it. 

The Warsaw Pact nations were gone and only the Commonwealth of Independent States remained. Many former SSRs began to have Western leanings and soon just "go west." Latvia, Lithuania, and Estonia were out of the gate and in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization or NATO before you could say Russian Federated Soviet Socialist Republic.

Fast forward to the present day.  The Ukraine has been heading west as well and has been pursuing greater integration into the European Union style of doing things as opposed to the old USSR way.

Vladamir Putin was a former KGB or Soviet Secret Police man. When the Soviet Union crumbled he was a displaced commie.  What to do? Can't go back, roll with the future. Putin changed is commie apparel for fascist apparel. If you can't beat them, join the Russian mob.  Putin became much richer and more powerful under corrupted capitalism than he could have ever been under an old communist regime. Vlad's  dreams never changed, his methods did. With his new "freedom" Putin could put away his goosestep for cement shoes.

When Putin was with the KGB and he had enemies what did you do? Get rid of them. What do mob bosses do when the competition oversteps its bounds or members thereof lose usefulness? See you at the bottom of the river.

The Russian mob is quite powerful now in the organized crime world. At its head, none other than Vladamir "Vodka on the Rocks" Putin. He was President, did a stint as Prime Minister and then was back into being President.  He is corrupt capitalism at its best, just like the mob. He deals in racketeering, money laundering, insider trading, commodities cornering, and price gouging.  If someone doesn't like it well they go missing so to speak. The Ukraine is too big to go missing, but it can be invaded by the rival Russian Mafia.

The reason why Putin has the Red Army there is not to make it a communist state. Communism is so yesteryear. He is there to bring the Ukraine into the full brotherhood of the new global state mafia. Fellow bosses in China, Vietnam, Cuba, Syria, Kazakstan are all wanting to keep the crime families in check. In the mob you simply don't walk away. Neither in Russia's "territory." Georgia learned this with Putin's Capos and now the Ukraine is learning this.

Putin is successful at what he does because unlike his old commie buddies he could repackage himself and change with the times. Putin is nothing more than an international kingpin and the Ukraine is a rival mob family that wants out. Well there is that old "oath" thing.

We can't have SSR after SSR join up with the West. Eastern and Central Europe did. Now its time to put the boot on the neck of the Ukraine, invade, fire an ICBM or two. That's it.

What about the West? What about them? Obama, the supposed leader of the free world can't lead and his policies are a disaster even by Vladimir's standards, so Putin is doing his mob thing in the open.

"Never let a good crisis go to waste." was an Obama Administration favorite quote.  Putin couldn't pass up the chance at expanding his sphere of influence. Oil and gas are the things being sold at Putinafia prices and he need not worry about the USA, EU nations. China et al are at the table enjoying the whole show.

This is what happens when leaders of nations don't lead, like Barack Obama. They look like fools. Had this happened on Ronald Reagan's watch Putin would be looking at serious meddling by America that would have kept him in check like when the Soviet's invaded Afghanistan and looked hapless. Well the West should take a bow. Sanctions says Obama. Putin is shivering in his shirtless pasty skin. Until real leadership comes back to the United States and the West, Vladimir Putin will flex his flabby muscles and our leaders will look like Larry, Curly and Mo.

Religious Adherents Are More Dangerous Than Religious Deviants?

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer (R) vetoed a bill that would have given citizens greater protection against being sued for using religious belief as a defense yesterday.  Why is this making national news? It stems from gay couples asking for market services such as wedding cakes, and when someone says that homosexuality is a violation of conscience, the "discriminated victims" can sue the person who refused services or get bureaucrats to go after them and potentially drive them out of business.

What we have is people choosing into a lifestyle behavior conflicting with personal religious practice, not just belief. When a wedding cake maker refuses on grounds of religion not to make a gay wedding cake, he or she is practicing their religious belief system. The homosexuals on the other hand are not necessarily practicing their religious beliefs.

The First Amendment to the US Constitution and enshrined in 50 state constitutions guarantees freedom of religious practice and freedom from harassment of government for engaging in one's religious beliefs and practice.  How are two homosexuals "harmed" by a baker not baking a gay wedding cake? They are not. They can pursue services at another bakery. Not every bakery will turn them down, especially not the big box store types.

In the end common sense would have to show actual REAL harm to the homosexual couple by anyone refusing services based on religious grounds.

For example if a gay man shows up with AIDS at an emergency room the doctor is obligated to treat the man regardless of his views on the man's sexual behavior or orientation. Refusal of medical services could render the patient seriously ill or worse dead.  That is REAL harm.

If a cake maker refuses to do gay weddings where is the real harm? Hurt egos? Oh cry me a river.  The service on its face is not even vital to society functioning, let alone two human beings contracting a relationship.

What happens when the priest, bishop or rabbi is approached and refuses because of the religious occupation or standing where they are obliged to live their religion as an act before God and not the wishes of common citizens? Do they get sued for saying no, that in fact a man or woman of the cloth is obliged to offend God before people, perhaps not even of their religious persuasion, because some couple's feelings are hurt?
It is truly a sad day when a person who is a barber, shoe maker, baker, butcher or even private attorney is forced to violate conscience of self over conscience of another.

It I go to an auto injury lawyer looking for criminal defense can I sue him for not taking my case it he chooses not to practice criminal law? Its a sad day if that attorney can be sued. I wouldn't seek him out anyway if I am charged with a crime. He would be a poor defense attorney. He chases ambulances for a living, not getting alleged criminals out of jail sentences.

If I am walking down the street with my child and I see two gay men kissing in public and I privately turn my child away from their behavior which to me personally is offensive, going to be sued or have my kid removed because the gay men were offended?

People love to compare these situations to the civil rights days. They are sadly misleading people. When a black person cannot get food, gas, a hotel room, or use a restroom due to the color of his skin, over which he has no control, real injury was possible and did happen in the Jim Crow South. You cannot control your race. You can control your behavior and lifestyle choice no matter your sexual orientation.  A gay man can choose to live a straight lifestyle and as straight man can choose to live a gay lifestyle.  It happens in reality for reasons that vary as greatly as the individuals who make those choices.

One can argue that religion is a choice. This is true. It is a choice. But most people are tied to their religious beliefs from bonds that range from generations of living a faith to their own relationship with their Maker. It goes far beyond just a choice. Homosexuality however is not handed down from generation to generation and in almost all religions is not the conduit through which a man or woman connects to the divine.

Therefore the argument falls flat on its face to equivocate homosexuality rights with religious conscience. Where does the madness end?  If someone goes into a convenience store without a shirt or shoes can they claim injury now when the sign clearly states the rules of service? Can nudists sue the clothed for being offended that the clothed will not join the nudist cause? It all sounds like madness. That is because it is madness. This is what is happening every day in cities and towns. People are demanding services that one should not be compelled to render if it violates conscience in most circumstances. Common sense dictates when conscience is subservient to mandatory service, such as saving a life of another human being, even though you may have biases that make you uneasy about who you are serving.

The First Amendment protects the religious adherent over the seekers of market services.  Should I be sued by a prostitute because I believe that behavior to be immoral and illegal because she can't charge me for refusing to have paid sex with her? It truly is a sad time we live in when the offended have greater weight than a person who means no harm and wants to give or withhold service for common sense reasons, is now the villain for just being themselves.

Next up are politicians who sue and win elections because the voters and electoral college were too stupid to see who they really wanted in office. Wait we had that one in Bush vs Gore at the Supreme Court in 2000.

Looking Forward, Looking Back

It truly has been a long time since I blogged. I figure it is time that I start up again, because its one of those things I do best.

Tonight I have had a lot of thinking going on in my brain. This is normal, but tonight has been exceptionally rare and the volume of thought very high.

I have had two of the most challenging years that I have ever had. I have been up and down, on roller coasters, hiked deserts, hiked mountains, been on islands, and floored my car out on the Bonneville Salt Flats at 110 MPH.

And it is getting late to call 2014 a New Year, but now is the beginning, not January 1.  In my associations with many people I have met those who are stuck in their past, some that are forward thinking, some who have no direction whatsoever, those in and out of trouble, the optimist and the pessimist.  Most people could be somewhere in the middle, as could I.

I remember my ex wife saying that I was always on the computer, and this is true. Now aside from the devil incarnate Facebook and work I don't do much of anything with the computer. The irony in that.

What I have learned about myself is that I seem to walk a lonely road. Not by fate or by my own design. It just seems to have been my journey in life.  Maybe its to help others, maybe its to learn some cosmic lesson. I have friends and family, but I still have walked alone.  I have been in crowded rooms and yet I might have well been there alone.

I have a good friend who is a real sweetheart, and that is because she is.  She has helped me out, when she too has walked this lonely road. I find it amazing that someone who has been through so much, still can offer a smile and a kind word.  She even has opened up to me, which I thought was an accomplishment.

The reason I bring her situation up is because she is so wanting to move forward, but being held back by her own troubles.  We all are in that boat. I know that I am. What does moving forward mean? What does living in the past mean? What does living in the present mean? What about looking forward with hope, learning from the past, but not living it, living in the present as if this were the only time to appreciate what we have?

I hope my friend somehow sees this blog entry as do others. I have another friend who has never looked back except to learn. He is like a brother to me.  I look to him to emulate the father I want to be to my children.  He is always a forward thinker, nostalgic at times, but still lives for today. He has his flaws and imperfections, yet he lives each day as a new day.  I pray that I can have that attitude for myself and of myself.

I wish that for my friend as she moves forward with so much to give and see that walls smother you, they don't help you. I have my own walls, most are not good defenses, rather obstacles to my well being.

As I begin this blog I hope to have the large readership I once did while taking it in a futuristic direction. It will be nice to build it up and see what creations come out of my mind in all its dysfunctional glory.

Its good to be back again and moving on, even with vines all over the trail that need cutting through. Its good to be alive and feel than not feel. Its good to be!