What just happened? My Boss Jumped the Shark?

Tonight I don't feel so wise.  I came home feeling down and somewhat insulted.  These are feelings that I do have some control over.

Earlier today about 4:30 PM my boss poked her head in my office door. With some that is a good experience. With this current boss, not so much.

She gave me that clarion call to her office kind of like an Elk bugle and a zombie stampede.  In there was our  on site HR guy. Of the two of them I would much rather see him.

The conversation covered much mundane stuff which really I don't feel is important to the story, other to say it was demeaning.  The topic of course was "you suck" and the criticisms kept coming and coming and coming.  I defended what little alibi I had. There is not really an alibi against accusations that most people will never hear of in their lives.

Password entries was one goal to be measured. Another one was asking for help when I didn't know the answer.

No antecedents were offered to the accusations. Just criticisms. At the end I asked "there must have been something I have done right." The HR guy said "Your getting here on time has improved."

Yeah, oh boy!  I went back to my office and shut the door.

I sat and pondered the silly to somewhat justifiable goal list to avoid getting fired.

Then I began to write an email. First to my colleagues asking them for their honest input of my work. All bcc because of confidentiality stuff.

Then I finally wrote to my boss and cc the HR guy.  I offered up my own rebuttal. It was professional, but to the point on several issues.  The two of us will most likely collide over the content. But I am glad I wrote it.

Sometimes writing your boss in an email after silly talks to serious ones is very important. Communication is key to job survival. As I pointed out to a friend I vented to if you don't let your feelings be known and establish proper boundaries, you are bound to get hurt.

Bosses have to be kept in check as much as coworkers.  When they cross the mark, they have to be respectfully and forwardly put back on their side of the line.  Failure to communicate will lead to at the very least more problems and at the most going postal. Most of us will fall way between these extremes.

I spend 2 hours carefully selecting the written words. Taking out as much emotion as I could to keep the tone business like.  But nonetheless keeping it to myself was going to eat at me.

So I employed one of Dr. Abraham Low's methods. I expressed myself in a "cultured" manner.

Now I wait and see the results.  Yes it is always a risk telling your authority figure to back down and offer criticism that is deserved back to them. But so is doing something stupid by stuffing it in.

Tomorrow the results of the email will be read. What happens next I hope does not happen.

Now a few tips I have learned from this exercise in what seems futility.

First, Establish firmly what boundaries are expected and why they were crossed. Second, make sure that counter criticism is not demeaning or insulting. Make sure it does not whitewash the truth either. State the facts as you see them. No more and no less.

Third if human resources is ever involved then cc them so that it does not turn into boss vs employee. Chances are you'll lose if you're not the boss.

Fourth make sure you document the areas the boss has let you know are subpar and reasonable. If your boss can follow the "paper trail" then show him/her that you can create one in your own defense.

Fifth is that nobody should be bullied. Bosses like other bullies feed off of your fear and uncertainty of how to deal with them. Bosses that engage in power bossing, being overcritical of your work, vague about antecedents that precipitate their actions on you, or they must be "right" even if they are dead wrong.

Sixth for each incident of interaction with your boss, leave a note somewhere of the date, time, and nature of the discussion.

Seventh is if your boss sees weakness, they will most likely try to turn it against you. But if you are strong, they will modify their approach and/or back down.

Eighth is that employment is a two way street. Your boss needs to be reminded that you can go elsewhere and not return. That power they wield is not too good outside their sphere of influence. Don't be flippant or exaggerate. Just let them know that you have begun to consider all your options concerning the employment  relationship.

A person really needs to be wise when picking and choosing battles. The workplace is no exception. This is especially true of management.  Your boss can set you up with broad and very loose goals that you might not be able to obtain. If you take on your boss keep respect and objective wording to them. Emotions unchecked can be hard to recover from bad karma in a job situation.

Ninth, Don't stay where abusive relationships exist. Bide your time and bolt. Never be direct about quitting unless you are that sure that you can incur possible maladaptive behaviors. Keep your cards close to you and continue working in your present employment up to the last day.

Tenth is that you remember forgiveness is for healing you or the "inner vessel" before cleaning the "outward vessel" may save you eating crow. It sucks to tell someone you forgave them only if in the part.

Everybody will face the school yard, peer member, bad comment by an uncle you see twice on Facebook in six months. Will you give or takeaway their power? That is the final answer for now.

Six and The Fish

Tonight I was having some fun on Facebook. I decided to go back and rejoin when I ran into Six and The Fish. Six and the Fish don't join in conversations. They hijack them.

What started out as a couple of jabs back and forth ended up as a brawl. We were talking about "blocking" on Facebook, which is wiping them off your map. There may be some that don't know what it means.

As I traded insults with Six, the more dominant of the two women soon The Fish because she comes across like well a fish, joined in. Now The Fish in my humble opinion is lacking in some social skills.

I admit that I first insulted The Fish. But again I am not big on passive aggressive types.  I digress.

The insults were hurled back and forth and getting more heated. Finally I realized I could use the block feature on Facebook against them. We'd been trading insults with it. So in no time at all Six was history on my account. The Fish was more illusive, but I nixed her too.

My coming back to that Facebook group is less exciting, but so is the exchange of insults. Starting sometimes is less important that finishing the fight. Well good riddance to both of those women and I hope the feeling is mutual.

No one deserves put down and sick crap directed at them. Someone asked who I even was. I explained that  it didn't matter and in a nice way none of her business.

Sometimes we have to take the high road, even after realizing that we chose the low road first.  Six and The Fish will still be there, but like a child covering his eyes, I won't see them.

The Lessons of Dating on Facebook

I had a good Internet friendship going for six months. General interest was the main thing going on. Mutual interest beyond friendship happened and we texted back and forth for hours. Great fun.

Words mean everything and I will explain this shortly. As we talked we talked about very personal and not so personal stuff.

As we exchanged she called at 6:00 AM as there is two hour time difference between us both. That AM was my local time.

It was a good chat or so I can remember.  Later things went south. A few words led to a mid afternoon of  misunderstanding and finally the lady deciding to saying goodbye.

I was left scratching my head. What went wrong. Then my mind clicked on a possible scenario. I had dated a couple of other friends connected to the same Facebook site.

I had not assumed on obvious point. We all had shared mutual friends. I had dated two of them. Others may have had access to my account as a "friend" that I might have added without scrutiny of my knowledge base of them.

The damage is not going to kill anyone, but harm did come.

Here is what I learned on dating someone from Facebook:

1. First, introductions are everything. Say hello and chat a while. No matter how tempting it gets don't give out too much information early on. Don't friend them if you haven't already. Keep some privacy until you get to know their intentions.

2. Keep "Friends In Common" to a minimum. Your friendship or relationship is an open door to discussion about you by your Facebook interest and shared friends. Some of these shared friends can put on the good good face on the computer, and turn on you when talking to someone else.

3. Only when you have texted AND talked on the phone with your person of interest you should "friend" them. First we live in a TEXT HAPPY SOCIETY and texts are very convenient communications tools. But you should not just get to know someone via text.
Set your boundaries. First, be safe and chat on FB with your POI. Second get a phone number and move to step two. Text them first and get to know them, but only for a short time. Third, insist on talking to your POI before carrying out anymore texting. If  "they are not ready" or "want to get to know you better" then that should be a red flag of stalling. I am not implying that they are not genuine, but if they will not put a voice to their face drop that baby by fading into the woodwork or by other more aggressive FB means if necessary.

4. If you and your former POI and or dating partner break it off, to avoid real damage consider blocking them. Do this quietly and without announcing it to everyone. Keep other means of communication open, not your FB account. Don't let your FB former person of interest or dating partner be able to keep up on you. Unfriending someone is okay, but not foolproof in protecting against cyberstalking your account to a degree. Block them first, don't just unfriend them.

5. If your friends in common still have a good relationship you may want to tell them that you and Mr. or Ms. X have ceased chatting, texting, dating, marriage, etc.  By letting your closest friends and family know without airing dirty laundry can prevent them being manipulated by an ex.

6. If your person of interest blocks you out of whatever reason, this can be good. It allows you to work on your situation and they cannot see what you are doing on Facebook.  If they unblock you then keep your attention on them. You won't know it until they contact you or you find out a third party way. Keep in mind you can block them, and they cannot undo that. Do what you need to do to protect yourself.

7. Unfriending in the FB community is considered by some to be a one finger salute. A block is a death penalty to your relationship. Think things through before you are put in a decision where you have to do so urgently. If you do use the unfriend or the block tools, remember that situation may just need time. People that have blocked me or unfriended me are now my friends again on Facebook. The dispute is settled.

You cannot go back to the way things were, but you can change yourself now.

8. If you are separating or divorced, block your spouse. It keeps you out of each other's lives and the temptation to cyberstalk the former husband or wife on social media. If you reconcile to the point where you can be friends on Facebook then great. But ex husbands and wives need boundaries also. Sometimes blocking someone out is not out of vindictiveness. It is out of caring enough about them and you to move on.

The Morals and Values of Company X

Company X was a major player in the health care industry. Company X had many clients, handled many accounts, and made a very good profit margin.

Company X had a slogan that reflected doing the moral and ethical thing.

Like all good corporations Company X believed in profits, growth, client and customer satisfaction, and providing jobs to very qualified individuals.

Company X had a Board of Directors, A CEO, Vice Presidents, upper, middle, lower management, and the common line employees in their various functions.

The company bus was rolling along the American Economic Highway. It had been smooth sailing from the start, very few bumps in the road, relatively smooth terrain, and very few problems to worry about.

Then one of the drivers decided he didn't like the way his bus in the convoy was running. So he opened the floorboard and threw an employee under the bus. Kathump went the wheels of the bus over the unnamed person. It was nobody significant, and the driver of the bus said that it was necessary to throw one employee under the bus for the good of the whole.

The driver then decided to rearrange the order of the passengers of the bus. He took employees from the back and put them in the middle, middle employees to the front, front to back and so forth. He created several new areas within the bus to to help the functions of the bus run smoother.

With so many new arrangements the driver again had the floor boards opened up and threw another three bodies under the bus. Nobody really notice or much cared. It wasn't them and they were thankful for that. The bus driver pulled into a large vehicle wash to get the blood and debris off the company bus. The bus had a brand and could not be seen driving around with the blood and guts of those thrown under. It wasn't good for morale anyway.

Once the bus was underway and one more person got thrown under, the bus driver looked among his bus staff and found several people he would make micro managers. To oversee the micro managers would be managers, an associate director then the driver at the top. There was always a need to be ready to throw someone under the bus so the bus driver made the human resources job to throw unwanted or unneeded people under the bus.

When someone would ask the driver to give them a raise he said "no" or made an excuse. He would make silly rules to save a dime. Some of his very first passengers had been loyal to him from day one, but the only way they could get a raise is to install glass ceilings in the bus and take on a lot of responsibility. So the loyal minions that were most likable were promoted to micro manager.

There was one micro manager who had great thoughts and ideas and they helped the Company X bottom line. So they borrowed his ideas and utilized them. He was a good micro manager, but hated doing too much micromanaging. The driver did not like this neo micromanaging style and so he called a meeting of the management minions.  He told them he had gone to a bus line owner convention, come up with new ways of doing things. The micro manager he cared about least was thrown under the bus. But he was asked to hang on for dear life, because they may need to yell under the bus to get more ideas.

Now he was just another passenger, but now under the bus, and was asked to be loyal for the good of the Company X brand. 

Not being stupid he let go, let the wheels roll over him and found himself alongside the road. Fearing they might loose intellectual property or the man's brain, nobody knows for sure, they U turned only to find the spot where he let go there was no corporate road kill. Just a skid mark and a note that said "I dodged the wheels and I am not telling you how I did it."

The driver tried in vain as more minions got passed the micro managers  went out the windows, the emergency exit, or the front side door to jump to other buses and trucks on the American Economic Highway. Even the bus Attorney tried to sue some to no success for violation of a no compete clause, but all in vain.

Finally in time a call came in from corporate dispatch at Company X. The driver was hauled out of his seat, put under the floorboard, and crunched under the bus.  Seems the ethics monster had caught up with Driver Robespierre.  In the end he was expendable too.

The bus is still rolling and making money, but has lost much intellectual talent due to its policies of treating employees.  Because only the employees could make the company money and Company X had thrown out all  those expendable minions.

So is the ethics and values of Company X. No longer a major player, but a minor one, because they did not observe one simple principle. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Gratitude

It is often in "our own desert" that we "meet" God. 

With all of the things going on in March I have come to realize one thing is easy to overlook, gratitude.  We live in a society where everything is "on demand."  We have come to believe that you can get something for little or no effort.  We have become an entitlement based mentality.  Did anyone ever stop and think what this brings about?

One of those things I have noticed is lack of gratitude. Gratitude for what?  For starters just being alive.  There is health, family, a place to call home, food and appreciation for good hard work.  Who to be grateful to? There are our employers for providing us with a job from which we can get an income.  There are our parents who gave us life and sacrificed much so we could be who we are and believed in us and what we can become.

There are those who lifted us up on a down day. There are those that bore our trials with us even though they had no reason to do so.  There are friends who put loyalty before differences.  There are those who don't turn away when it would be easy to do so.

There are the good times when very little adversarial trials are in our way.  There are the things that we learn in easy and hard times.  There is humility when it is easy to become prideful.  There is the spiritual when darkness is all around us.  There is being accepted for who we are and not what we aren't.

Above all there is a Supreme Being to whom all the glory of this gratitude goes. He is the architect of our lives, the giver of all things from the most simple to the very rich. He says yes to more prayers than He says no too.

Where have we gone as a society when the only thankfulness we can muster up is the obligatory type at a restaurant to the server?  Being grateful is second only to being charitable in defining a person. If we were only just a small bit more grateful to our fellow man and our God just think of the miracles that would follow?

What are we truly missing out on here?  We are missing out on the ability to be free or be in bondage. To appreciate rather than demand. To love rather than demand love. To be respected because of being the better person.  There is much more than just these things, but I truly believe our level of self actualization is tied to how grateful we really are.

We all must make our own way, yet no one can get to the goal without some assistance seen or unseen. It is not the great things, but the little things that  we must be thankful for before we can appreciate the big changes in life.

We watch the media and they say that we should all do it for ourselves and others should benefit us. We should do for ourselves the right thing so we can be of assistance to our fellow beings, not the other way around.

I get on social media sites and the stench of "look at me" is everywhere.  How about we look at us and then honestly assess our situation. If we want different outcomes we have to change the way we make things happen. We can't beat the same dead horse expecting a live one to take it's place.  We have to bury the dead horse and assess. What are we doing right? If we are doing the right thing keep it. What are we doing wrong? If we are doing wrong change it. What is we don't know where to go? Ask directions.

It is easy to say this stuff but much harder to do in practice.  A wise man once said the world would take the poor out of the "slums" and put them in better conditions. He then said that God "takes the slums out of the people and then the people take themselves out of the slums."

Thankfulness is taking the slums out of the people, out of ourselves. Then if we are in literal or symbolic slums we remove ourselves to better housing, communities, attitudes, jobs, friends, etc.  That gratitude is what I hope more members of society will see and practice. A simple "thanks" goes a long way when you mean it. Just imagine thank yous and humility combined? What a better world we make for ourselves.

If we want to be the center of attention, quit trying to make everyone see how much you have, your social status, your job, income, and physical attractiveness.  People are more attracted to character than to substance. If you desire attention get it the right way, not the "look at me" way.

Gratitude is the key to happiness and more blessings in our lives. I hope our society can have gratitude vs entitlement. The entitled person is never happy because they always want something and never stop demanding.  The grateful person opens up and is thankful for what they have and then have more room to receive, because they are more willing to give to others. It is the service that is tied universally to gratitude.

There is never something for nothing. Someone is writing a check. We should be grateful for what we have and we will get more in proportion to gratitude.

Spring Means Taking Care of the Cactus

With Spring just a couple of weeks away it is time to get out and do those green thumb projects. One of mine of course is Cacti. Winter killed many beautiful cacti with rot, still others remain that survived the cold wet winter.

First thing is to prep the soil from last year. Mix in new with the old and also top soil to bottom. The cacti seem to like nutrients that land on the soil as well as the bottom.

Make sure that the soil is well drained. Water retaining soil = rot. Also make sure any containers can drain excess water.  Cold hardy cacti will be starting to "wake up."  So don't forget to cut off rot and keep your cacti healthy. If your cactus is rotten, chuck it. Rot from borderline cold hardy can spread rot to otherwise healthy plants.

Let soil completely dry out before watering again. Also minimum for this time of year should be once to twice every two weeks.  Cacti in low light areas will need artificial light for indoors or access to a good light source by a window.

Also cacti are great for preventing break ins from burglars. If they want your stuff let them get stuck for it. I have always used a dog and cacti in tandem. So far, so good.  Yucca also require the same care as succulents, though not as hardy as cacti.  So much for Spring maintaining. Nutrients for indoor and outdoor include plant food, organicide for fungus, and of course beer and dog food my favorites.

So keep on having fun with painful planting. But in the end it is worth it for those spring and summer blooms.

Godfather Putin

There is much ado going on since Russia has invaded the Ukraine Crimean region amid the woes of the former Soviet Socialist Republic. The Ukraine has a long historical relationship with Russia and it is not surprising that the big brother of all the Slavs is invading little brother's territory.

In 1991 the Soviet Union ceased to exist and all Soviet Socialist Republics became free independent states. Moscow never gave up its ambitions for a sphere of influence. Changing over from a Communist to a Democratic form of government was not going to be easy and there were no guarantees that the newly freed independent states would make it. 

The Warsaw Pact nations were gone and only the Commonwealth of Independent States remained. Many former SSRs began to have Western leanings and soon just "go west." Latvia, Lithuania, and Estonia were out of the gate and in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization or NATO before you could say Russian Federated Soviet Socialist Republic.

Fast forward to the present day.  The Ukraine has been heading west as well and has been pursuing greater integration into the European Union style of doing things as opposed to the old USSR way.

Vladamir Putin was a former KGB or Soviet Secret Police man. When the Soviet Union crumbled he was a displaced commie.  What to do? Can't go back, roll with the future. Putin changed is commie apparel for fascist apparel. If you can't beat them, join the Russian mob.  Putin became much richer and more powerful under corrupted capitalism than he could have ever been under an old communist regime. Vlad's  dreams never changed, his methods did. With his new "freedom" Putin could put away his goosestep for cement shoes.

When Putin was with the KGB and he had enemies what did you do? Get rid of them. What do mob bosses do when the competition oversteps its bounds or members thereof lose usefulness? See you at the bottom of the river.

The Russian mob is quite powerful now in the organized crime world. At its head, none other than Vladamir "Vodka on the Rocks" Putin. He was President, did a stint as Prime Minister and then was back into being President.  He is corrupt capitalism at its best, just like the mob. He deals in racketeering, money laundering, insider trading, commodities cornering, and price gouging.  If someone doesn't like it well they go missing so to speak. The Ukraine is too big to go missing, but it can be invaded by the rival Russian Mafia.

The reason why Putin has the Red Army there is not to make it a communist state. Communism is so yesteryear. He is there to bring the Ukraine into the full brotherhood of the new global state mafia. Fellow bosses in China, Vietnam, Cuba, Syria, Kazakstan are all wanting to keep the crime families in check. In the mob you simply don't walk away. Neither in Russia's "territory." Georgia learned this with Putin's Capos and now the Ukraine is learning this.

Putin is successful at what he does because unlike his old commie buddies he could repackage himself and change with the times. Putin is nothing more than an international kingpin and the Ukraine is a rival mob family that wants out. Well there is that old "oath" thing.

We can't have SSR after SSR join up with the West. Eastern and Central Europe did. Now its time to put the boot on the neck of the Ukraine, invade, fire an ICBM or two. That's it.

What about the West? What about them? Obama, the supposed leader of the free world can't lead and his policies are a disaster even by Vladimir's standards, so Putin is doing his mob thing in the open.

"Never let a good crisis go to waste." was an Obama Administration favorite quote.  Putin couldn't pass up the chance at expanding his sphere of influence. Oil and gas are the things being sold at Putinafia prices and he need not worry about the USA, EU nations. China et al are at the table enjoying the whole show.

This is what happens when leaders of nations don't lead, like Barack Obama. They look like fools. Had this happened on Ronald Reagan's watch Putin would be looking at serious meddling by America that would have kept him in check like when the Soviet's invaded Afghanistan and looked hapless. Well the West should take a bow. Sanctions says Obama. Putin is shivering in his shirtless pasty skin. Until real leadership comes back to the United States and the West, Vladimir Putin will flex his flabby muscles and our leaders will look like Larry, Curly and Mo.