I take the title of today's blog from "The Housemartins" Think for a Minute. The lyrics of the song really might have some reasoning for the subject matter, but then again may not.
I am working now at doing an about face in my professional life. I came to an area in Idaho thinking that the grass might be greener if I followed a path and goal I set out for myself. Is the grass always greener?
In 2008 we elected our current President. Is the grass greener? We had a landslide election of 2014. Will the grass be greener? Politics is easier to predict than one's own flesh and blood.
You fathers and mothers out there how much do you really consider your own children or each other if married in your own expanded goals for yourself?
What is the real reason behind your doing what you do? Your actions and motivations? Think for a minute? Maybe take some real time and put an hour down or days. Put some real heart and soul into yourself. Be honest with yourself. Think deeply about where you are now. How you got there. Where are you going? Why are you going there? How will you get there? Who will your decisions affect? If you're truly honest with yourself you may be surprised.
When I first came to Idaho I thought that my last child a big part of the reason that I came here. By rebuilding my reputation and work I might somehow make her life different. In a few short months that all changed.
She did not want her dad's complex reasons for being so far away. She wanted her dad nearby. That was it. The rest all were my own creations and illusions of what I thought a different approach might be. Truly a child never spoke more honest and to the point words.
Now starting over again is really starting over again. Bottom up with family support and with faith. That is it.
Nothing is for certain except this one point. I will be where I should be, with my daughter. I have heard others say "she is only five, of course she will say that."
More stupidity has never been uttered by an adult. We forget that our kids are listening, watching, learning, keeping mental notes on everything we do. It is their innocence that will be our judge of parenting in many ways.
So if you think that you have the time to make excuses, you only deceive yourself. "Time Waits for No One" is a quote I think that also fits. You can hold on to your precious beliefs of pride, being right, and doing it your own way.
Meanwhile those few precious moments will be spent as a parent in quality and meaningful time that you will remember and they will also. You can wait to see if your "being right" pays off later. I will take the first of these two tests of parenthood.
See I have a child now long gone to the adult world and I don't know if I will ever see him again or have a meaningful relationship with him. I could have been there more, but I wasn't. I wasn't a bad parent. I just missed out. My other older children have confirmed this. I am blessed forgiveness is a real possibility in my third son's situation. The older two are great men in their own right, and they will go far.
As for my daughter that minute I took to think will change history. Hopefully and God willing it already has. As a final plea out there dads and moms think for a minute. Is your endgame going to bless your child's life or put a wedge between you and him/her in the course of time?
You don't know the outcome, but you can make an educated guess. Only you know where you stand in what needs to be done and your relationship with your child. Just don't leave that relationship to chance. Gambling with money is one thing. Gambling with your children is another. In the latter the stakes are higher and if you lose, the debt harder to repay if it can be repaid.
Think for a minute. Stop for a minute- The Housemartins
