Six and The Fish

Tonight I was having some fun on Facebook. I decided to go back and rejoin when I ran into Six and The Fish. Six and the Fish don't join in conversations. They hijack them.

What started out as a couple of jabs back and forth ended up as a brawl. We were talking about "blocking" on Facebook, which is wiping them off your map. There may be some that don't know what it means.

As I traded insults with Six, the more dominant of the two women soon The Fish because she comes across like well a fish, joined in. Now The Fish in my humble opinion is lacking in some social skills.

I admit that I first insulted The Fish. But again I am not big on passive aggressive types.  I digress.

The insults were hurled back and forth and getting more heated. Finally I realized I could use the block feature on Facebook against them. We'd been trading insults with it. So in no time at all Six was history on my account. The Fish was more illusive, but I nixed her too.

My coming back to that Facebook group is less exciting, but so is the exchange of insults. Starting sometimes is less important that finishing the fight. Well good riddance to both of those women and I hope the feeling is mutual.

No one deserves put down and sick crap directed at them. Someone asked who I even was. I explained that  it didn't matter and in a nice way none of her business.

Sometimes we have to take the high road, even after realizing that we chose the low road first.  Six and The Fish will still be there, but like a child covering his eyes, I won't see them.

The Lessons of Dating on Facebook

I had a good Internet friendship going for six months. General interest was the main thing going on. Mutual interest beyond friendship happened and we texted back and forth for hours. Great fun.

Words mean everything and I will explain this shortly. As we talked we talked about very personal and not so personal stuff.

As we exchanged she called at 6:00 AM as there is two hour time difference between us both. That AM was my local time.

It was a good chat or so I can remember.  Later things went south. A few words led to a mid afternoon of  misunderstanding and finally the lady deciding to saying goodbye.

I was left scratching my head. What went wrong. Then my mind clicked on a possible scenario. I had dated a couple of other friends connected to the same Facebook site.

I had not assumed on obvious point. We all had shared mutual friends. I had dated two of them. Others may have had access to my account as a "friend" that I might have added without scrutiny of my knowledge base of them.

The damage is not going to kill anyone, but harm did come.

Here is what I learned on dating someone from Facebook:

1. First, introductions are everything. Say hello and chat a while. No matter how tempting it gets don't give out too much information early on. Don't friend them if you haven't already. Keep some privacy until you get to know their intentions.

2. Keep "Friends In Common" to a minimum. Your friendship or relationship is an open door to discussion about you by your Facebook interest and shared friends. Some of these shared friends can put on the good good face on the computer, and turn on you when talking to someone else.

3. Only when you have texted AND talked on the phone with your person of interest you should "friend" them. First we live in a TEXT HAPPY SOCIETY and texts are very convenient communications tools. But you should not just get to know someone via text.
Set your boundaries. First, be safe and chat on FB with your POI. Second get a phone number and move to step two. Text them first and get to know them, but only for a short time. Third, insist on talking to your POI before carrying out anymore texting. If  "they are not ready" or "want to get to know you better" then that should be a red flag of stalling. I am not implying that they are not genuine, but if they will not put a voice to their face drop that baby by fading into the woodwork or by other more aggressive FB means if necessary.

4. If you and your former POI and or dating partner break it off, to avoid real damage consider blocking them. Do this quietly and without announcing it to everyone. Keep other means of communication open, not your FB account. Don't let your FB former person of interest or dating partner be able to keep up on you. Unfriending someone is okay, but not foolproof in protecting against cyberstalking your account to a degree. Block them first, don't just unfriend them.

5. If your friends in common still have a good relationship you may want to tell them that you and Mr. or Ms. X have ceased chatting, texting, dating, marriage, etc.  By letting your closest friends and family know without airing dirty laundry can prevent them being manipulated by an ex.

6. If your person of interest blocks you out of whatever reason, this can be good. It allows you to work on your situation and they cannot see what you are doing on Facebook.  If they unblock you then keep your attention on them. You won't know it until they contact you or you find out a third party way. Keep in mind you can block them, and they cannot undo that. Do what you need to do to protect yourself.

7. Unfriending in the FB community is considered by some to be a one finger salute. A block is a death penalty to your relationship. Think things through before you are put in a decision where you have to do so urgently. If you do use the unfriend or the block tools, remember that situation may just need time. People that have blocked me or unfriended me are now my friends again on Facebook. The dispute is settled.

You cannot go back to the way things were, but you can change yourself now.

8. If you are separating or divorced, block your spouse. It keeps you out of each other's lives and the temptation to cyberstalk the former husband or wife on social media. If you reconcile to the point where you can be friends on Facebook then great. But ex husbands and wives need boundaries also. Sometimes blocking someone out is not out of vindictiveness. It is out of caring enough about them and you to move on.